A new day

I did a lot better today. I was a bit hungry and ate extra, but it was all good stuff. Nothing junk. Around 11:30 this morning I did my daily workout. It nearly killed me. But I pushed through it. All but the last few exercises. Afterwards I showered, I was dripping with sweat. Then I was starving. I had malt o meal for breakfast, which is filling, but the workout really sucked it out of me. I ate 2 peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. But the peanut butter was all natural peanut butter and the jelly was all fruit no sugar jelly. And the bread was whole wheat. But I was soooo hungry. In the afternoon I should have had a snack but I have such a hard time making myself snack. I feel that I am fat enough I don't need to snack too. But good healthy snacks are good for me. I just can't get that through to myself. LOL. Anyways, I fixed chicken fried rice, a recipe from the weight watchers getting started book. It was ok. My guys loved it. I even made extra so they could all have some for lunch tomorrow. They were thrilled. I only had 1 small serving, then a weight watchers yogurt. Then hubby did his evening workout and we sat down to watch a movie. I had bad popcorn during the movie. Not the healthy kind. Then I had a peanut butter craving and had a few town house crackers with peanut butter. I was so bad. I haven't gone over my weekly allowance points for the week, but I feel i have totally bombed this week and that sucks! But, I'm gonna push through it, suck it up and keep moving. I can do this and I am gonna do it!

Bad Week

I have been having a crappy week. It all started this weekend. The weather changed and I was unable to get outside like planned. I have been cooped up in the house for days. I had a goal set to be outside this weekend and ride my bike. But due to the weather, I haven't been able to much of anything. It has brought my energy level down too. I have felt pretty crappy the last few days. Yesturday hubby took a half day and we sat around all day watching movies. I did get my workout in though. But only one. Then today I woke up feeling pretty crappy and just sat around all day. On my EA active 2 I am set up on the 9 week program and today is my rest day but I had other exercises planned. But I felt so crappy I didn't do a damn thing. It got worse as the day went on. I got really hungry at lunch time and ate extra. Then I was feeling really crappy by later in the day and by the time hubby got home I had reached rock bottom. He went and got 2 deepdish pizzas from CiCi's. One for him and one for me. (Mine was alfredo pizza) It was lacking flavor so bad but I still just ate. Out of habit more than anything I think. But afterwards, OMG! I felt way worse than I had all day. My stomach was icky, I was weak and light headed. I tried soaking in a tub but it only helped a tiny bit. Eventually my pizza came right out. As soon as it did I felt tons better. How messed up is that. I can't ever let that happen again! I can't let myself get that low! I have to stay active no matter what. And I have to eat right. It does some fucked up things to my body if I don't. More changes to come. Gotta get this right!!!

weight in

Well, Hubby and I weighted on the Wii this morning. It said he lost 3.7 pounds. And I lost 2 pounds. The weight watchers scale said I lost 1.6 for the week. Yesturday the boys weighted in and Eric(youngest) lost 2.9, and John(oldest) lost 1.8. In 1 week. I was so proud of my guys! Not to bad for week one! Its a great start!

A Simple womans day book

Outside my window...

I see birds eatting from my bird feeder...
I am thinking...

About my workout and how crappy I feel right now...I'm hoping I can fight against my body, get off my lazy ass and use my new workout game I just bought.
I am thankful for...

For a supportive husband. We spent $40 on the EA Active 2 game bundle thing so I could work out. We have Wii fit plus but that things a joke. Its good for kids, not me. Now the game is mine and hubbys. He doing workouts with me. I love to see him sweat! hehehe
From our classroom...

The kids lessons are going well. This week instead of writing their assignment sheets every night I wrote them on Sunday. It was a huge weight lifted off me. I was able to cut down on the amount I have to do in prep. Some of their subjects they doing the same things so I just wrote one and copied it. ha. I do too much as it is. If I can cut down on some of it I'm all good!
From the kitchen...

Feed the guys raviolis with homemade sauce last night and a salad. They ate the hell out of it. Making the sauce from scratch cuts down on points and its better for us. I still counted out my 9 raviolis. They were big too. Fixed my salad with my ranch salad spritser. (Which we determined was 0 points) ha. And yummy. I enjoyed it all and was still had 9 points left after dinner. So, when we were at the mall we had some fat free frozen yogurt. I ate a small amount and still had points left at the end of the day! How awesome is that!

I jumped around on my lunches this week cause we had some left overs. Today I'm suppose to cook the turkey loaf thing. I dont want it. I gotta figure out what the hell I'm gonna have where I get full. Damn!
I am wearing...

Workout clothes in case I ever get my lazy ass up and work out today.
I am creating...

A new life style and better me!!!
I am going...

No where today...
I am reading...

I am attempting to read Bale fire if I can ever get some time to read it. I'm so tired when I go to bed at night I dont wanna stay up and read.
I am hoping...

I will not feel so crappy once I eat something
I am hearing...

nothing
Around the house...

my boys are still snoozing
One of my favorite things...

being a stay at home mom
A few plans for the rest of the week...

Start my new workout game thing, workout at least 2 times a day, and get up earlier in the mornings so I dont lay in bed and then feel crappy when I finally get up...gotta make the changes!!!

3/22/11

Yesturday was my 8 year anniversary. I can't believe I've been married 8 years now! It was a struggle at first. The first 5 years were the hardest. We fought a lot. Its really hard getting use to someone and living with them. But we love eachother enough. Several people didn't think we'd make it. But we have. We bet the odds. My hubby is 5 years younger than me. He was only 19 when we got together and I already had 2 kids. But he came into our lives and completed our family. He is my other half. He completed me just as he completes our family. He is my world.
Because we started the weight watchers we decided to cook dinner at home last night instead of going out. Of course sometimes plans change. Last night we hit a snag. It was a little bump in the road. We ended up needing to run some errands after he got off work so we got back home about 5:30 ish. Byt then hubby was getting hungry. I had a goal set in my mind. I wanted spaghetti for dinner. Homecooked. But I usually give into him, just as he does to me. Anytime one of us says were too tire to cook, we dont want whats planned for dinner or were craving something else the other one gives in and we we go out to eat. Well, last night he was saying he was hungry and wanted to go out so he could eat quicker. I was starting to give in. I was really torn on what to do. So I told him how I was feeling. I wanted to make him happy, but I really wanted to stay on my points and I was wanting spaghetti for dinner. I really badly wanted this weight watchers to work. I can't do that by going out. Most of the food is way over on points. So he gave in and said ok we'd go home and cook. That was a huge step for us. We have always before just given in. I'm hoping this weight watchers will prevent that from happening. Somehow in the past we have managed to pull enough money out of our asses to go out to eat when we wanted to most of the time despite our tight budget. So I figure if we can pull that money out to go out to eat we can pull that money out to pay for weight watchers and then maybe the weight watchers will save us money cause we wont be eatting out as much. Just a thought. LOL.
Anyways, so last nights dinner was soooo good. I had extra helpings. I felt good afterwards cause I wasn't stuffed but satisfied enough that I was hungry after. And the food wasn't really bad. It was about as healthy as you can make spaghetti. lol. But I ended up using some of my weekly allowance points cause I had extra helpings. Which I know its what they are there for, but I dont want to use them if I can avoid it. So, I was feeling a little guilty and after we cleaned up after dinner and kids did their chores I decided I wanted to go for a walk. I didn't know how far I could make it but I didn't want to just walk around the yard. That wouldn't do anything. At least not enough for me at that moment. So, we all walked and walked and walked. Hubby kept suggesting we go back cause I usually cant make it very far and he didnt want to have to walk back and get the car for me. lol.
But i just kept going. I walked to the duck pond, a block from our house, then around the pond (1/2 mile) then took the long way through the neighborhood back home. It toko about 45 minutes but it seemed like we walked a lot further. I was so proud and hubby was shocked and proud. Even got praise from my friend and Weight watchers coach. lol. (I named her my ww coach).
I really badly wanted to walk this morning too but kids got lessons to do. I can't leave them alone in house too long theyd fight. Im gonna walk after lunch though if it dont rain. And I plan to walk every evening that it dont rain. We go to the OKC Zoo the middleish part of April and last year I sucked. I couldn't make it very far and felt horrible. The kids wanted to see more but I couldn't make it to the back. So i told them this year we would go to the back first. But I need to be able to walk it for them. I need to! For them and for me!
I'm just stressing right now over what I'm gonna eat when were there. All they have is crap.

weight watchers

Well, I am on the first FULL week of weight watchers. Its is a bit of a struggle. Yesturday was my anniversary (8 years) and we had spaghetti planned for dinner. We all love homemade spaghetti. We make it a bit different. We use whole wheat noodles and tomato sauce(not store bought spaghetti sauce) and season it our selves. Well, I was a bit hungry so I ate extra. I gave my self the points for it too. I felt good and bad after I ate. I felt full. The first time in a few days and upset at the same time cause I had more than 1 serving. And we still had dessert. Which was an angel food cake with whipped cream and strawberries. I hadn't worked out as much as I'd hoped during the day cause the boys and slept in so our day was off. Well, after dinner I was mad at myself and decided instead of my little stroll around the yard I was gonna go for a walk around the neighborhood. Didn't figure I'd get very far. Never have before. But I was determined. I was hurting, walking funny, breathing was labored but I pushed through. I said fuck it and just did it. I walked at least a mile. We all walked to the duck pond, (a block form my house) around the duck pond (1/2 mile by it self) then the long way home around a few streets. About 45 minutes of walking. I was shocked and so was hubby. He kept saying we should stop cause I usually cant make it that far and he would probably have to go home and get the car if I kept going. I didn't stop. I just kept going along. I felt great afterwards. No cramping or pain yet! After we got home hubby and I even played on the PS3 for a bit on sports champions. Worked my arms out! Hell Yeah!
I am on a high right now. I really just want this to work. So badly!

Weight Watchers

I started weight watchers last week. This is only day 3. And it is the beginning of a new week. I did pretty well so far. I am staying under my points. I am exercising a little. I can't do much right now. I don't think I'm pushing myself as much as I can right now though. I have back problems and am worried about that. Also I have a bad knee and dont want the knee cap popping out on me. But I need to move past those issues and just do it. Im not gonna just waste $40 a month and not do the program 100%.

The weekend

This weekend went pretty well. We were busy. Saturday we went to birthday party. It was fishing at the local park. The boys love to fish. Then the birthday boy wanted to sleep over. So he came home with us. We decided to grill that evening. And invited some friends over to join us. Even invited a friend I hadn't talked to or seen in months. And just started talking to the day before. It was a nice visit. The kids all had fun, especially when they got to play spot light.
Sunday we all ate breakfast together, rode bikes a little, went to the museum, then came home. I had my oldest take down the Christmas lights hubby keeps saying he's gonna take down. Then hubby did some maintenance work on out friends car. By then we were all pretty tired and just went out to dinner.
On the way home we had a ground wire issue on my car. Couldnt figure out how to fix it. Hubby is still working on it.
Then the kids and I watched part of Nemo before heading off to bed.

It was a really good weekend!

Trampoline fun

I got a wild hair today and decided to get on our trampoline we've had for like 3 years or so. I have never attmepted it cause of my size and my my muscles like to cramp when I try anything physical. Of course I had to act silly while doing it.

I am a strong woman!

I believe I can fly. LOL

Im a jumpin...

Dork

Ok that didnt last long.







Im done

But had fun doing it! I'm gonna make a goal to do this more often.

A lost friend

I heard from an old friend today. It was a shock. I had emailed her but didn't really expect a response. Several months back , probably at least 6 now, I was really, really depressed. The worst I had ever been. I didn't know why. I couldn't figur it out. I was in a low dark place. Well, I asked my friend for some time. I needed to be left alone for a while. She kept pushing and pushing. So, since I was so low I told her how I felt about everything lately. Even her. See there were a lot of little things about her that we really getting on my nerves. And as depressed as I was getting they were really, really bothering me. I know if she just backed off a bit and let me have some time I would work through it and we would be fine. She wouldn't. So, I said some mean hurtful things and she backed off. I haven't spoken to her in a while. Now I am feeling much better. Turns out a lot of my depression is a vitamin deficincy. A few simple missing vitamins does wonders for me. So, now that I have worked through everything I emailed her and appologized and said I hoped her the kids were doing well. And left it at that. She responded. I was shocked. Happy but shocked. I hope we start off slow and re build what is broken. But those are just hopes. We'll see how it goes. :)

My life

I love my life...most of the time.
I have a wonderful hubby and 2 great kids. They are my whole world and they take up all my time. Which is cool. But sometimes I get lonely. I have no friends to talk to, share things with, or get advice from. Just my blogs and facebook, but I dont really know a lot of those people well enough. Wish I had more sometimes.

chiropractor

I LOVE my chiropractor! He is amazing! I was hurting so bad from our queen chiropractor bed that we had for the last month. It was the most horrible bed immaginable. I would have slept on the floor better than I slept on that bed. So, finally after my back was thrown out the last time, which was the worst we got a new bed. So, much better. Between the bed, iceing my back and heating my back it got better. Mostly. But my right hip just wouldnt go back in place and heal on its own. So, this evening i finally broke down and went to see my chiropractor. Within minutes I was back in. And pain was almost instantly gone. I still need to ice my hip a little but its much better. I hope I can sleep good tonight. I should since my hip is back in and i am soooo tired from getting up so early this morning.

So tired

I am just so tired. I an issue last night an posted to a homeschooling group for advice. Got some advice. But not what I wanted to hear.
Basically they said my rewards system wasn't working. Great. Finally I listened. I don't know what to do. The system it self it fine. It's just not working for both kids.
I just don't know what to do with my oldest sometimes or how to connect with him.
I change lessons cause of him. I change rewards and consequences cause of him.
He thinks he rules the house.
He thinks he can talk to his brother how he wants and boss him around.
He thinks he can do what he wants when he wants.
I just dont know what to do.
I'm so frustrated.
I just want to do the right thing. But what it is?

Today3/8/11

Its been a really long day. I have been stressed and grouchy. Yelling a bit too. Little things getting on my nerves. I think I am exausted. I have been taking some Acai pills with green tea. They are giving me the energy, well drive to do more in the day but in the evening I am exausted. I feel like I could crash by 7 sometimes but I can't. I still have lessons and chores to assign for the next day. Also checking chores and making sure the kids do what they need to do in the evening. Baths, floors picked up, teeth brushed, etc. All while my dear hubby sits on his ass playing his playstation! I really want him to have to relax, but I need time too. Just because I homeschool the boys all day doesn't mean I don't need help with them in the evenings.
I wish men would get it sometimes.
Well, back to it I go.
Gotta get up super early so kids can go to dentist at 7:20 AM

My back

I have been having back problems for years. I have a habit throwing disk. It is very painful. I didn't know what it was until a year ago when I started going to see a chiropractor. My body was all kinds of out of wack. It has been helpful and expensive going to see him. Sometimes I have to wait until its realy bad before I can afford to go.
Several months back our Cali King bed finally worn out after about 5 years. We bought it used for $75 and it lasted 5 years. Great deal. Well, it started hurting my back and I was making frequent trips to the chiropractor cause of it. Finally we did some rearranging in the house. My oldest son had a bunk bed and youngest a captains bed. My oldest was wanting a new big boy bed since he turned was turning 13. So we did a little swapping for a few months. We took down his bunk bed and put it in the garage. We gave him our top mattress to our Cali King and kept our box springs. Then took his bunk bed mattresses and used them. He was thrilled to have such a big bed even though it was on the floor. And it was only temporary. When income tax finally came we did some switching again. The bunk bed went into our younger sons room. He was over joyed cause he could one bed just for all his stuffed animals. lol. The captains bed went to our oldest and we got a queen size bed with frame and headboard for $150. We thought we could go from a Cali King to a Queen no problem. Ha. We were wrong. That bed was horrible. I hated that bed with a passion. We've had it about a month and I have gotten maybe 2 good nights sleep the whole time. That bed was crowded and killed my back. I had to sleep sitting up with my back off the bed or have pillows under my back so my back wouldn't be on the bed. Saturday night was the last straw. I tried so hard to make that bed work cause hubby picked it out. I slept on his side of the bed for a change and woke up about 4:30 in so much pain I couldn't move. It was the worst ever. I told him I would never sleep on that bed again! EVER! I went to the loveseat in the family room and got a few hours sleep there. The next day we were discussing what to do with the bed situation. We were just gonna sell it when I said why don't we give it to John(our oldest). He wanted a bigger big since he's getting older(now 13). Then we can sell the captains bed. Hubby agreed it was a great idea. So we posted the bed on craigslist and was looking just looking on craigslist to see what we could find for a King size bed in our price range. We got lucky! We found a King size bed with mattress topper for $50! So, hubby and friend went and picked it up in truck. We put the queen in John's room and the king in ours. We slept on it last night and it was amazing! So different than the queen. My back is still sore and I can't really sleep on my back too long until the disks stop swelling, but I got so much sleep! And my son loved his queen bed too. We're all happy! Maybe my back will be happy enough to stop hurting to I don't have to go see the chiropractor. It costs $45 everytime and he spends 5 minutes and pops me all back in.

My first post here

This blog is just for me. I might rank, complain or rejoice on here. I might post about my life, sex, husband, kids, family etc. This blog is for me to have a place to get it all out and not be judged or criticized. Anyone is welcome to comment, make suggestions or share their own experiences. Please do not post nasty comments about what I say. Sometimes I say things out of anger. Some things I don't mean what I say. Thank you.